Discombobulated
by bertie-bott's-best-bean
Summary: House gets a letter that changes his life forever. Will he do the right the thing, or break under the pressure? Can the one thing that he never wanted in life, change him forever?
1. All of the Things I Never Expected

_Doctor Gregory House,_

_Do not throw this letter away. I'm not trying to get you to buy anything or pay a bill. And no, I'm not trying to sue you for all you're worth either. Then what is the point of this letter, you may ask? From what I've heard about you online, you can't stand not knowing something. So read on._

_My name is Jenna, but that's quite a stupid name, don't you think? I tend to go by my middle name, which is Parker, so feel free to call me that instead. _

_I'm thinking you know what the term 'hooker' is, yes? Yeah, well my mother is one. And since she relies on the men to use a condom, she has babies popping out of her all the time. I'm one of the many. I have seven half-sisters and two half-brothers. We all live together in a tiny house that my mother is trying to pay for. _

_I've been wanting to find my dad for a long time so I can get out of this dump. After years of testing, I finnaly found him, and to make a very long story short, it's you. You're my father. Woohoo, It's a girl! Incase you have any doubt of this fact, I've sent the test results along with this letter. Being a world known doctor, you should be able to study them and make sure I'm not lying, correct?_

_I'd like to come live with you in New Jersey. If you say no, I'll understand, and won't bother you again. But if you say yes, I'll pay for my plane ticket and I'll be there as soon as possible. I don't have a whole lot to pack up and bring, so I wouldn't be taking up much room. _

_I can't promise you that you'll like me, because from what I've read on the internet, you don't get along with everyone. I can tell you right now that I'm an annoying girl who is very stubborn. I have my noticable faults and I don't like to admit to them. In other words, I won't make the very best daughter. Then again, you payed someone for sex fourteen years ago, and that usually doesn't get someone nominated for 'dad of the year'. Just living proof that everyone makes mistakes, I suppose._

_If you would like to contact me, call the house phone. 293-743-1483. If the phone bill isn't payed and is it's disconnected, reply by snail mail with the adress that is on the envelope. Thank you for your time, Gregory House, and have a splendid day._

_- Parker._

House couldn't do anything but stare at the letter. He reread it for the third time and did the only thing he could do in this situation. Sit there and laugh his head off. This had to be a joke...it just had to be. He couldn't have a kid...they were annoying and carried germs!

When realization hit him, he immeadietley stopped laughing and stormed out of his office as quick as his feet and cane would take him. He needed to talk to Wilson.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Hey there everyone. (x I know, I know, ANOTHER one. Another 'House has a kid he never new about' story. But this plot just kept sticking in my head, so I had to write it. xD If you like it so far, please review, because it makes me want to update super quick. (x If you didn't like it, feel free to tell me what you thought I should have changed. Thanks to anyone who read the first chapter!

-CELiNA!


	2. Calling You Up

Wilson knew this was going to be a bad day. He was late for work, two of his patients passed away, and he knew it was only going to get worse. Especially when he heard banging on his locked office door, and a voice that was way too familiar, shouting,

"If you don't let me in this second I will shove this cane..."

House didn't get to finish his sentence because Wilson was already opening the door. House charged in as fast as he could and took a seat, rubbing his head and popping a vicodin. This time he didn't even take the pill for his leg. He did it for the thumping pain that wouldn't leave his head. With a groan, House brought his fingers to his temple and rubbed, trying to think clearly.

"House...do I even want to know?" Wilson asked as he sat down in the chair behind his desk. He could tell by his friends troubled face that something was wrong. Whether it was pain, a case, or a mixture of both, he wasn't sure.

House considered just showing Wilson the letter, but then he remembered he had left it on his desk. How in the world was he going to say this? He could make a joke out of it like he usually did, but House saw absolutely nothing funny about this situation. With a groan he shook his head to Wilson's question.

"Wilson...I'm...I'm the...The 'F' word."

Wilson couldn't do anything but stare at his friend like he was going insane. The 'F' word? What in the world did he mean by that?! He obviously couldn't mean.../that/ 'F' word...That didn't even make any sence!

"House...I need more. That information alone isn't cutting it." Wilson told him, again giving him a look which obviously said that he was worried for his friend's mental health.

"I'm a father. I have a kid." House said, looking seriously panicked. The more the thought of being a parent set in, the more House wanted to run away from the situation. He wasn't ready to take care of some kid. He never would be! He hardly even bothered to take care of himself!

House didn't know what happened but all of a sudden Wilson stood up from his chair and starting ranting to House, not available to finish any of the sentences that he attempted to start.

"You have a...?! Is it a boy or...?! What happened and...?! What were you...?! If you are kidding me, I swear...!"

Despite the fact that House was incredibly afraid of what was going to happen, he had to bite back his laughs as his friend rambled on and on a bunch of nonsence.

"Wilson, I am not lying. I know this seems like something I would joke about, but I'm dead serious. I got a letter from a girl saying that she wanted to move here with me. Apparently her mom is a hooker that I got freaky with fourteen some years ago." House said groaning slightly.

"You have a fourteen year old, teenage daughter?! Who wants to come live with you? What are you going to do House?!"

"You don't suppose that if I ignore this it will all go away, do you?"

"Nope.''

"Eh. It was worth considering. I suppose I'll just have to call her up and tell her what I think about her coming to live with me."

"And what do you think about her coming to live with you?"

"Well if I told you, the suppense wouldn't be building, and what fun would that be?"

**HOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMD**

House didn't want to call her...To talk to some kid he never met or never really wanted to meet. He was terrible with talking on the phone...He never knew what to say. Hopefully this kid would be a loudmouth and do most of the talking so he didn't have to.

He punched in the numbers that were neatly printed on the letter he had been sent. He brought the phone to his ear and regret suddenly filled his body.

_Riiiiiinnng..._

Please don't answer.

_Riiiiiiiiiinnng..._

Please don't answer!

_Riiiiinnn-_

"Hello?"

Life is cruel.

"Is Jenna available?"

"Just a moment..." House heard a young girl say. He then heard the same little girl yell out 'SISSY!' in a very loud and obnoxious voice. There was a pause and a voice came over the phone.

"Ello?"

He couldn't say anything. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He couldn't even think straight.

"Hello?! Is anyone there? Listen, if you are just another person trying to sell us something, I advise you to hang up now. We are broke as it is and today I am really not in the mood to listen you babble on and on about your 'amazing product' and how it does 'wonders'. Comprende?"

House had to smirk at how sarchastic she was...he could kind of already tell by the letter she sent, but this just proved it to be true.

"Uh no...This is Greg House. Jenna, right?"

"Parker." She quickly corrected him before continuing. "Thanks for replying to the letter."

"Er...sure. Anyways, you asked if you could come stay here with me. The answer is no."

"Fair enough. Why?"

"Because I don't like kids."

"Maybe you should start liking condoms then. That, or stop liking hookers. Trust me, they don't like you."

House could almost swear he heard a smirk through the phone.

"Hah." He said dryly, rolling his eyes. "For your information I haven't seen a hooker since...Tuesday."

House smirked lightly when he heard a laugh on the other side of the line.

"Well okay, _Papa House_, I will leave the conversation at that. Sorry you don't want me, I'm quite a marvelous kid." She said sarchastically, hanging up the phone.

**HOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMD**

A/N: Okay, so if Parker was truly gone from the story forever, there wouldn't be much of a story left. Don't worry, she will be appearing again in the next chapter. That is if there will be a next chapter...Do you guys think I should continue? I'd like to, but it's basically up to you guys. No point of a story without any readers.

I'm not so sure about this chapter...opinions?

Thanks to;

momsboys, Tarica, Queen S of Randomness 016, and Boys Don't Cry for reviewing. You guys are amazing and your reviews made my day. (x

Any suggestions or ideas for the story is GREATLY appreciated! Reviews are great too, so please, if you'd like me to continue, let me know!

Thanks guys.

-CELiNA!


	3. AN

Authors Note;;

It drives me INSANE when an author updates a story with an author note chapter. But I had to let you all know that I'm not planning on continuing this story. I'm making a new fanfiction account where I can /stay/ dedicated. I might restart this story on my new account, keep an eye out for it. Thanks you guys!

-CELiNA


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